Merphers


 * Pheno: So, you may be wondering; why am I at this farm and killing everyone with a combine? Why have you never seen me in the show? And most importantly, why the S**T does every movie these days start in the chronological middle? Well, all of this will get explained.
 * Flashback to Norpher Land.*
 * Pheno: You see, when my father sprayed his crème Chantilly in my mother's mango, he was not expecting the two Norphers to make a Morpher like me.
 * Cut to Norphers in army camp.*
 * Pheno: You see, these white a*s guys are Norphers. So white they're literally the color white. These "Norphers" are trained to become troopers in the Norpher Squadron.
 * Cut to shooting camp.*
 * Pheno: Now this mustachio man? He is Major Norpher. Do not F with this guy. He will kill you.
 * Major Norpher gets shot in the testicles. He groans, then covers his crotch.*
 * Pheno: If you s**t with Major, you get tortured until every fabric of your soul is left for dead.
 * Cut to Norphers getting hung on scaffolds, beheaded by guillotines, and shredded in chippers.*
 * Pheno: Worst part? He is my dad. Anywho, one day, I decided to join the Morphers. I used being a spy as the decoy, and since I have gotten to know a lot of Morphers!
 * Cut to Pheno fapping in a dumpster.*
 * Pheno: Whoops, did NOT mean to show that!
 * Cut to Pheno signing up for Elites.*
 * Pheno: THERE! Elites! I decided to join the university that would have me be an Elite Morpher!
 * Luke, as the account, looks up.*
 * Luke: Here for tram passes?
 * Pheno: No, I am joining the Elites.
 * Luke: Oh. Line is over there.
 * Luke points to a 1,234,567,890 mile line.*
 * Pheno: Son of a b*tch!
 * Luke: If it makes matters better, you get to fill this applicaiton on the way over.
 * Pheno: GIMME THAT!
 * Pheno takes an application.*
 * Pheno: Ugh, damn these lines.
 * Luke: Uh, that is the application for joining the next season of Don't Scare the Hare.
 * Pheno runs back to Luke.*
 * Pheno: GET THIS PIECE OF S**T OUT OF MY HANDS! Where is the Elite application?
 * Luke: Here.
 * Gives Pheno it.*
 * Pheno: Ah, thank you, LukeyDuke.
 * Luke: Any time.
 * Pheno walks away as Luke sneezes all over Zoe.*
 * Zoe: Luke, you FREAKING SNEEZY CRACKER.
 * Luke: Hey, you deserved it, you racist.
 * Pheno is walking into line.*
 * Pheno: Alright, let's see what this application has.
 * Pheno signs a few things. Time card says "A couple eternities later."*
 * Fritz: Signups for Elites?
 * Pheno: HERE!
 * Pheno gives Fritz the app.*
 * Fritz: Alright, we will review this and see if you can get in.
 * Pheno: (Narrating) They did.
 * Cut to Pheno walking to the college.*
 * Pheno: I AM HYPERVENTILATING RIGHT NOW!
 * Entrance opens.*
 * Teacher: Pheno, come on in!
 * Teacher: Good morning class. Would everyone take a seat?
 * Pheno sits*
 * Pheno: Psst, Krish, sit here. Here.
 * Krish sits there.*
 * Fritz: Um, excuse me, there do not seem to be any empty seats left.
 * Teacher: But there is one right next to Sid. [Fritz sits there, and Sid touches him]
 * Fritz: Do you mind?
 * Sid: Do not worry Fritz, we are friends now! I will teach you everything I know, and then we can.
 * Fritz: We will not be doing anything, because there is no we! Understand?
 * Sid: Wii will not be doing anything? WII?
 * Teacher: Quiet in the front.
 * Pheno: Yeah, Fritz! Not everyone has the perfect mohawk you have and everything!
 * Teacher: Okay class, how about we get to know our new students, by telling each other why we were sentenced to the Elites.
 * Vincent: Um, Tess is impressed with me because I killed someone once.
 * Teacher: Extremely great! Alright, whose second?
 * Vincent: I do not see what is so "extremely great" about me killing someone.
 * Teacher: No, I did not mean "great".
 * Vincent: Dammit, I know exactly what you meant!
 * Teacher: Next.
 * Pheno: Oh, I am here because I.
 * Teacher: We all know why you are here, Pheno, you are reforming. What about you, sir?
 * Krish: Me?
 * Teacher: Yes. I would love it if you told the rest of the class, why you are with us today?
 * Krish: Why I am. All right, I will tell you. I AM THE CHIEFTAIN OF MY VILLAGE!
 * Cricket chirp is heard.*
 * Teacher: Come up to the chalkboard, and draw a story about how you became chief.
 * Krish: Gladly. [draws what he is saying] I was the wisest, most handsome, biggest, strongest, bravest, frankest, nicest, sincerest, most Able-bodied, Abloom, Abounding, Above, Aboveboard, Absolute, Absolved, Abundant, Accelerated, Acceptable, Accepted, Accepting, Accessible, Acclaimed, Accommodated, Accommodating, Accommodative, Accomplished, Accordant, Accountable, Accredited, Ace, Aces, Achieving, Accurate, Accustomed, Acknowledged, Acknowledging, Acquainted, Active, Actual, Actualized, Acuminate, Acuminous, Adaptable, Adapted, Adapting, Adaptive, Adept, Adequate, Adjusted, Admirable, Admired, Admissible, Adonic, Adorable, Adored, Adoring, Adroit, Advanced, Advantaged, Advantageous, Adventuresome, Adventurous, Advisable, Advocative member of my hood. Can I sit down now, immeasurable a*s?
 * Teacher: Why, certainly. Oh, immeasurable? Why, you are so admiring!
 * *Bell rings, then cuts to everyone eating hamburgers for lunch, and Sid sits next to Vincent.*
 * Sid: Ah, lunch time, eh, Vincent?
 * *Sid sits, and Vincent walks away, over to the bins. *
 * Vincent: I will need to eat here, like in school.
 * *Vincent eats, then Sid pops up from the rubbish. *
 * Sid: Vincent, do you have any Barbecue Sauce in there?
 * *Vincent runs away screaming. Cut to Pheno and Kristian eating lunch.*
 * Pheno: Yo, Kristian? What did you get on your burger?
 * Kristian: BOULDERS AND DIAMONDS!
 * *Kristian takes a bite of the sandwich, and bites on the stones. His teeth are shattered.*
 * Kristian: *Makes an undicipherable noise.*
 * Pheno: Yeah, that is kinda why I got napa, tomatoes, achars, and ahipa m on mine.
 * *Cut to Vanessa giving Glender and Chuck a basket of Profiteroles.*
 * Vanessa: Careful. The donut holes are hot.
 * Chuck: Oh okay.
 * *Chuck eats one.*
 * Chuck: (Eating with his mouthful) It is safe, but really warm. AND CREAMY!
 * *Glender eats a few buns.*
 * Glender: THEY ARE SO CREAMY!
 * *The duo continue to feast on rolls. Chuck drips the ice cream into his mouth and pukes.*
 * Glender: Yum, I think I have had these before. *Eats a cream puff, then gurgles on the cream.*
 * Chuck: Wait...
 * *The duo look at each other in complete horror. They regurgitate into each others' mouths.*
 * [Cuts to the lavatory, where Vincent is eating]
 * Vincent: Mm, bon appetite, Ernestein.
 * *Eats, but then sees Sid's feet are the other stall. Squidward gets angry, and throws his sandwich on the ground*
 * Vincent: You have ruined first period, you have ruined lunch, and have ruined...
 * *Entrance opens, revealing that it is a Muscle Norpher, with Sid's shoes.. Scene cuts to Vincent walking to his seat, missing all of his teeth.*
 * Teacher: Welcome back class! (In shock) Uh, Vanessa, why are you all bruised?
 * Vanessa: (In crutches with a cast and a black eye.) They found out what was in those pastries...
 * Teacher: Oh my! Okay class, it is time for our training. Pheno, you will be with Sid.
 * Pheno: Eh, did not see that coming.
 * *Cuts to them at the construction site.*
 * Teacher: Now, we are going to take this nice and slow. So, Sid, how do we make a bomb?
 * Sid: Uh, combine different colored Morpher Wheels?
 * Teacher: Great. Nice and basic. Now let us slowly...
 * *Pheno gets a tube full of one million Morpher Wheel explosives, then floors the brakes.*
 * Sid: Pheno, look out!
 * *They bump into a bunch of girders, then they barge through inside of the building *
 * Pheno: BRAKKA BRAKKA BRAKKA!
 * *Pheno fires the Morpher Wheel bombs, exploding the building and going out of the site.*
 * Sid: Pheno, give me that wheel!
 * Pheno: I got it, I got it.
 * *Pheno punches Sid a bunch of times.*
 * Sid: Let go of it!
 * *Pheno rips the steering wheel in half, and the Teacher screams. They drive into an old lady*
 * Wrinkle: Ruffians!
 * *They drive through Walmart, Party City, and they then drive into the sewer.*
 * *A kid is looking in the storm drain, then Teacher and Sid come out.*
 * Kid: WTF.
 * *Kid slowly backs away from the Drain.*
 * Sid: Hey, where did Pheno go?
 * *Pheno ends up in a quarry.*
 * Pheno: Uh, there is no avalanche here, right?.
 * *Cuts to Pheno walking toward his desk with a ton of blood on his forehead.*
 * Teacher: Okay class, it is time to take our exam. Have your pencils ready.
 * Sid: Pst, hey, Winston, if you need any help, I have taken this test a hundred times, and.
 * Winston: How many times do I need to tell you?! I am not your friend! I do not need your help, and I hope you KILL YOURSELF! Now kindly let me take this dumba*s test, so I can get out of here, and never see you again, ever!
 * Sid: (Depressed) Fine, Winston, if that is the way you need it.
 * Winston: I do. [Picks up his pencil, but then it drops and rolls out of the room]
 * Teacher: 3 minutes class.
 * Winston: Sid? Sid, I need your help. Look, I was gonna use my pencil, but then something just-
 * Teacher: 2 1/2 more minutes.
 * Winston: Sid, can you give me your pencil? This is important. I gotta finish this test to join the-
 * Sid: You said you did not need my help, and that you hoped I kill myself. So never, you pr*ck.
 * Winston: No no, I did not. I never said that.
 * Teacher: 2 more minutes
 * Glender: Uh, yeah, you did, I heard it for sure.
 * Winston: I HOPE YOU GO TO HELL YOU DICKWEED!
 * *Glender shrugs*
 * Winston: All right, I hoped that. But that was before.
 * Sid: Before?
 * Winston: Before, before...
 * Teacher: 1 minute, class.
 * Winston: Before we were, (gulp) soul mates for the rest of eternity and as long as time exists.
 * Sid: Yay!
 * Teacher: Okay class, time ius up.
 * Winston: Time cannot be up. I did not fill in a single answer. What am I supposed to do?
 * Teacher: You do the same thing that everyone else does. You take it 10 more times.
 * Winston: 10 MORE TIMES?
 * Sid: Do not worry, Winston, I failed the test, too!
 * Winston: AHQWJEUKDNHJUMIDLDNHUKGIFLGTO!
 * Pheno: Yeesh, you